The Congress & Uttar Pradesh !

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T ENDORSE ANY POLITICAL PARTY.

NOR DO I ENDORSE ANY OF WHAT MAYAWATI IS DOING.

WAS JUST TAKEN ABACK BY RAHUL GANDHI'S HYPOCRITICAL COMMENT AT THE RECENT FARMER AGITATION IN UTTAR PRADESH.

Rahul Gandhi: "I feel ashamed to call myself an INDIAN after seeing what has happened here in UP".

PLEASE DON'T BE ASHAMED OF U.P. YET

Please don't be ashamed of Uttar Pradesh yet. Congress ruled the State for the Majority of the duration Pre Independence to Post Independence.. from

1939 to 1989 ( barring the Periods of Emergency.. Thanks to your Grand Mom Indira G. and a couple of transitional Governments)

8 out of the total 14 Prime Ministers of India have been from UP, 6 out of those 8 have been from Congress...

I think your party had more than half a century and half a Dozen PM's  to build a State...

The Reason Mulayam Singh, subsequently came to Power is because your party wasn't exactly Gandhian in their dealings in the State.. So May be If you look at in totality the present chaos in UP is the outcome of the glorious leadership displayed by Congress in UP for about 50 years!

So Please don't feel ashamed as yet Dear Rahul.. For Mayawati is only using the Land Acquisition Bill which your party had itself used to LOOT the Farmers many times in the Past!

WHY DIDN'T YOUR PARTY CHANGE THE BILL WHEN IT WAS IN POWER FOR SO LONG?

Not that I Endorse what Mayawati is doing.. What Mayawati is doing is Unacceptable..

But the past actions of your party and your recent comments, puts a question mark on your INTENT and CONSISTENCY.

YOU REALLY WANT TO FEEL ASHAMED

First Ask Pranav Mukherjee, Why isn't he giving the details of the account holders in the Swiss Banks.

Ask your Mother, Who is impeding the Investigation against Hasan Ali?

Ask her, Who got 60% Kickbacks in the 2G Scam ?

Kalamdi is accused of a Few hundred Crores, Who Pocketed the Rest in the Common Wealth Games?

Ask Praful Patel what he did to the Indian Airlines? Why did Air India let go of the Profitable Routes ?

Why should the Tax Payer pay for the Air India losses, which you intend to eventually DIVEST IT ANYWAY!!!

Also, You People can't run an Airline Properly. How can we expect you to run the Nation?

Ask Manmohan Singh. Why/What kept him quiet for so long?

Are Kalmadi and A Raja are Scapegoats to save Big Names like Harshad Mehta was in the 1992 Stock Market Scandal ?

Who let the BHOPAL GAS TRAGEDY Accused go Scot Free? ( 20,000 People died in that Tragedy)

Who ordered the State Sponsored Massacre of SIKHS in 84?

Please read more about, How Indira Gandhi pushed the Nation Under Emergency in 76-77, after the HC declared her election to Lok Sabha Void!

(I bet She had utmost respect for DEMOCRACY and JUDICIARY and FREE PRESS)

I guess you know the answers already. So My question is, Why the Double Standards in Judging Mayawati and members of your Family and Party?

I condemn Mayawati. But Is She the only one you feel Ashamed for?

What about the ones close to you? For their contribution to the Nation's Misery is beyond comparison.

You talk about the Land being taken away from the Farmers. How many Suicides have happened under your Parties Rule in Vidarbha ? Does that Not Ashame You ?

THE 72,000 CRORE LOAN WAIVER

Your Party gave those Farmers a 72,000 Crore Loan Waiver. Which didn't even reach the Farmers by the way.

So, Why don't you focus on implementing the policies which your govt. has undertaken, instead of earning brownie points by trying to manufacture consent by bombarding us with pictures of having food with Poor Villagers....

You want to feel ashamed. You can feel ashamed for your Party taking CREDIT for DEBITING the Public Money (72,000 crores) from the Government Coffers and literally Wasting it...

You want to feel ashamed.. Feel ashamed for that...

WHY ONLY HIGHLIGHT THIS ARREST?

Dear Rahul, to refresh your memory, you were arrested/detained by the FBI the BOSTON Airport in September 2001.

You were carrrying with you $ 1,60,000 in Cash ( Similar to the Arrest of Rahet Fateh Ali Khan recently, because you han't decared that Amount) . US allowed $ 10,000 cash at Immigration.

9 HOURS he was kept at the Airport.

He was later freed on the intervention of the then Prime Minister Mr.Vajpayee.. FBI filed an equivalent of an FIR in US and released him.

When FBI was asked to divulge the information for the reasons Rahul was arrested by Right/Freedom to Information Activists... FBI asked for a NO OBJECTION CERTIFICATE from Rahul Gandhi.

So Subramaniyam Swami wrote a Letter to Rahul Gandhi, " If you have NOTHING to HIDE, Give us the Permission"

HE NEVER REPLIED!

Why did that arrest not make Headlines Rahul? You could have gone to the Media and told, "I am ashamed to call myself an INDIAN?".

Or is it that, you only do like to highlight Symbolic Arrests (like in UP) and not Actual Arrests ( In BOSTON)

Because it so happens RAHET FATEH ALI KHAN'S recent arrest was Splashed in the Media and Your arrest in 2001 hardly got a MENTION..

Kindly Clarify.....

In any case, you want to feel ashamed, Read Along...

YOUR MOTHER'S SO CALLED SACRIFICE OF GIVING UP PRIME MINISTER SHIP in 2004.

According to a Provision in the Citizenship Act.

A Foreign National who becomes a Citizen of India, is bounded by the same restrictions, which an Indian would face, If he/she were to become a Citizen of Italy.

(Condition based on principle of reciprocity)

Now Since you can't become a PM in Italy, Unless you are born there.

Likewise an Italian Citizen can't become Indian PM, unless He/She is not born here!

Dr. SUBRAMANIYAM SWAMI (The Man who Exposed the 2G Scam) sent a letter to the PRESIDENT OF INDIA bringing the same to his Notice.

PRESIDENT OF INDIA sent a letter to Sonia Gandhi to this effect, 3:30 PM, May 17th, 2004.

Swearing Ceremony was scheduled for 5 PM the same Day.

Manmohan Singh was brought in the Picture at the last moment to Save Face!!

Rest of the SACRIFICE DRAMA which she choreographed was an EYE WASH!!!

Infact Sonia Gandhi had sent, 340 letters, each signed by different MP to the PRESIDENT KALAM, supporting her candidacy for PM.

One of those letters read, I Sonia Gandhi, elected Member from Rai Bareli, hereby propose Sonia Gandhi as Prime Minister.

So SHE was Pretty INTERESTED! Until ........

So She didn't make any Sacrifice, It so happens that SONIA GANDHI couldn't have become the PM of INDIA that time.

You could be Ashamed about that Dear Rahul!! One Credential Sonia G had, Even that was a HOAX!

THINK ABOUT YOURSELF.

You go to Harvard on Donation Quota. ( Hindujas Gave HARVARD 11 million dollars the same year, when Rajiv Gandhi was in Power)

Then you are expelled in 3 Months/ You Dropped out in 3 Months.... ( Sadly Manmohan Singh wasn't the Dean of Harvard that time, else you might have had a chance... Too Bad, there is only one Manmohan Singh!)

Some Accounts say, You had to Drop out because of Rajiv Gandhi's Assassination.

May be, But Then Why did you go about lying about being Masters in Economics from Harvard .. before finally taking it off your Resume upon questioning by Dr. SUBRAMANIYAM SWAMI (The Gentlemen who exposed the 2G Scam)

At St. Stephens.. You Fail the Hindi Exam.

Hindi Exam!!!

And you are representing the Biggest Hindi Speaking State of the Country?

SONIA GANDHI's EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATIONS

Sonia G gave a sworn affidavit as a Candidate that She Studied English at University of Cambridge

According to Cambridge University, there is no such Student EVER!

Upon a Case by Dr. Subramaniyam Swami filed against her,

She subsequently dropped the CAMBRIDGE CREDENTIAL from her Affidavit.

Sonia Gandhi didn't even pass High School. She is just 5th class Pass!

In this sense, She shares a common Educational Background with her 2G Partner in Crime, Karunanidhi

You Fake your Educational Degree, Your Mother Fakes her Educational Degree.

And then you go out saying, " We want Educated Youth into Politics!"

Contrast that with Gandhi Ji , who went to South Africa, Became a Barrister, on Merit, Left all that to work for South Africa, then for the Country....

WHY LIE ABOUT EDUCATIONAL CREDENTIALS?

Not that Education is a Prerequisite for being a great Leader, but then you shouldn't have lied about your qualifications!

You could feel a little ashamed about Lying about your Educational Qualifications. You had your reasons I know, Because in India, WE RESPECT EDUCATION!

But who cares about Education, When you are a Youth Icon!!

YOUTH ICON

You traveled in the Local Train for the first time at the Age of 38.

You went to some Villages as a part of Election Campaign.

And You won a Youth Icon!! ... That's why You are my Youth Icon.

For 25 Million People travel by Train Everyday. You are the First Person to win a Youth Icon for boarding a Train.

Thousands of Postmen go to remotest of Villages. None of them have yet gotten a Youth Icon.

You were neither YOUNG Nor ICONIC!

Still You became a Youth Icon beating Iconic and Younger Contenders like RAHUL DRAVID.

Shakespeare said, What's in a Name?

Little did he knew, It's all in the Name, Especially the Surname!

Speaking of Surname, Sir

DO YOU REALLY RESPECT GANDHI, OR IS IT JUST TO CASH IN ON THE GOODWILL OF MAHATMA?

Because the Name on your Passport is RAUL VINCI.

Not RAHUL GANDHI..

May be if you wrote your Surname as Gandhi, you would have experienced, what Gandhi feels like, LITERALLY ( Pun Intended)

Your Mother's Indian Citizenship is in the name of ANTONIA MAINO, not SONIA GANDHI

You People don't seem to use Gandhi much, except when you are fighting Elections. ( There it makes complete sense).

Imagine fighting by the Name Raul Vinci...or Antonia Maino....

It feels sadly Ironic, Gandhi Ji, who inspired Icons like Nelson Mandela ,Martin Luther King Jr. and John Lennon, across the world, Couldn't inspire members of his party/ Nehru's Family, who only seem to use his Surname for the purposes of FIGHTING ELECTIONS and conveniently use a different name on their PASSPORT.

You could feel ashamed for your Double Standards.

YOUTH INTO POLITICS.

Now You want Youth to Join Politics.

I say First you Join Politics.

Because you haven't Joined Politics. You have Joined a Family Business.

First you Join Politics. Win an Election fighting as RAUL VINCI and Not Rahul Gandhi, then come and ask the youth and the Educated Brass for more involvement in Politics.

Also till then, Please don't give me examples of Sachin Pilot and Milind Deora and Naveen Jindal as youth who have joined Politics..

They are not Politicians. They Just happen to be Politicians.

Much Like Abhishek Bachchan and other Star Sons are not Actors. They just happen to be Actors (For Obvious Reasons)

So, We would appreciate if you stop requesting the Youth to Join Politics till you establish your credentials...

WHY WE CAN'T JOIN POLITICS!

Rahul Baba, Please understand, Your Father had a lot of money in your Family account ( in Swiss Bank) when he died.

Ordinary Youth has to WORK FOR A LIVING.

YOUR FAMILY just needs to NETWORK FOR A LIVING

If our Father had left thousands of Crores with us, We might consider doing the same..

But we have to Work. Not just for ourselves. But also for you. So that we can pay 30% of our Income to the Govt. which can then be channelized to the Swiss Banks and your Personal Accounts under some Pseudo Names.

So Rahul, Please don't mind If the Youth doesn't Join Politics. We are doing our best to fund your Election Campaigns and your Chopper Trips to the Villages.

Somebody has to Earn the Money that Politicians Feed On.

INDIAN NATIONAL CONGRESS

You want to feel ashamed..

Feel Ashamed for what the First Family of Politics has been reduced to...

A Money Laundering Enterprise.

If MONEY is all the Motivation there is, You can Feel Ashamed for Sonia G's 'POVERTY of AMBITION'

You really want to feel Ashamed.

Feel Ashamed for what you ' SO CALLED GANDHI'S' have done to MAHATMA'S Legacy..

Meanwhile,  I would request Sonia Gandhi to change her name to $ONIA GANDHI, and you could replace the 'R' in RAHUL/RAUL by the New Rupee Symbol!!!

RAUL VINCI : I am ashamed to call myself an Indian.

                         Even we are ashamed to call you so!

P.S: Popular Media is either bought or blackmailed, controlled to Manufacture Consent!

        My Guess is Social Media is still a Democratic Platform.

        Let's ask these questions, for we deserve some Answers.

        For we are all Gandhi's. For Bapu is the Father of the Nation!

To know more, Try looking for Dr. SUBRAMANIYAM SWAMI. He is the reason today 2G SCAM is being Investigated!!!

RILs Goldmine !

RIL funnels money and business to Mukesh’s private companies

Rajas Kelkar
Sure, he’s the boss. But should Reliance Industries Ltd (RIL) be paying Mukesh Ambani Rs 4,300 crore for bankrolling his private companies for fuel, transport, power, water and gas distribution? That’s the amount Reliance paid Mukesh Ambani’s companies in the year ended March 2011 for services rendered. The number has grown steadily over the years as these privately-held companies have become critical to RIL’s operations.
Analysts feel RIL will eventually merge Reliance Gas Transportation and Infrastructure with itself. Wondering why RGTL is considered a goldmine now? Reuters
These companies are called “associate” companies in Reliance’s annual report. Here’s a roll call of these companies and the money they make.
Reliance Ports and Terminals received Rs 2,600 crore in 2010-11 from RIL. Reliance Gas Transportation and Infrastructure received Rs 652 crore as hire charges for the use of its pipelines to transport gas. The balance was split between Reliance Utilities and Power and Reliance Utilities, both privately held by the promoter of Reliance Industries.
Bar graph showing amount of money RIL doled out to its subsidiaries for the year ended March 2010 and March 2011.
Reliance Ports and Terminals (RPTL) and Reliance Gas Transportation and Infrastructure (RGTIL) appear to be increasingly integrated with Reliance Industries operations.
This is reflected in rating agency Crisil’s reports on RPTL (published in February 2011)  and RGTIL (published in August 2010).
The point here is that if these companies are so critical to Reliance Industries, they should have been subsidiaries. Now, over a period of time, as their utility for Reliance Industries grows and they emerge from initial losses, they will make more money for Mukesh Ambani instead. Okay, one can say that he took on the risk himself by buying RGTIL from RIL at one stage in 2006 for the princely sum of Rs 5 lakh. But then, the entire project was kicked off with loans from Reliance Industries — Rs 3,500 crore in all.
The exact ownership structure of these associate companies is not clear. However, according to the Crisil report on RGTIL, it is a company owned by the promoter.
A Business Standard report published a couple of years ago called RGTIL Mukesh Ambani’s ‘goldmine’. Not surprising, since even at that time it was moved out of the RIL stable to Mukesh’s, it had the rights to set up the gas pipeline. RGTIL owns the massive gas pipeline constructed through hills, rivers and land to transport the gas from the Krishna-Godavari offshore fields to Maharashtra, Gujarat, and Karnataka apart from Andhra Pradesh. More pipelines are being constructed to other states.
“RGTIL started operating the East-West Gas Pipeline (EWPL) from April 2009 onwards. It is currently transporting around 60 million metric standard cubic metres per day (mmscmd), against expectations of around 80 mmscmd because of the delay in ramp-up of gas production by RIL,” says the Crisil report. The project is entirely funded through debt. Crisil has assigned an AAA rating for the long-term debt and Reliance Industries has subscribed to its 9% non-cumulative redeemable preference shares worth Rs 2,000 crore. The Rs 14,000-crore project was funded with term loans.
RGTIL reported a net loss of Rs 210 crore on net sales of Rs 2,560 crore for the year ended March 2010. The company had reported a net loss of Rs 1,060 crore on net sales of Rs 8 crore for the year ended March 2009.
Those who have tracked the company are of the view that Reliance Industries will eventually merge Reliance Gas Transportation and Infrastructure with itself. The biggest beneficiary of this exercise will be the promoter group as a private company will be bought over by a listed company. Needless to say, Mukesh Ambani will be able to increase his control over Reliance Industries significantly.
No wonder, RGTIL is considered a goldmine.

India ! Prior and Post Independance !

PRIOR INDPENDANCE	POST INDEPENDANCE
We are exploited by politicians and Industrialists. British Mother Fuckers.	We are exploited by politicians and Industrialists. Indian Mother Fuckers
Britishers dominated Indians considering them illiterate and inferior.	Politicians, Neta log, people with high jacks and Cheques dominate the common mass.
Economy in bad shape.	Economy in good shape.
British built the Railways and buildings like the India Gate, Gateway of India, Parliament and other monuments which still stand proud.	We built the Common Wealth Games stadiums and pools which are breaking down even before starting of the Games.
British looted and plundered Indian wealth and manpower.	Today Politicians loot and Plunder the Indian wealth and manpower. They Deposit it in European Banks.
I believe lesser Corruption at that time.	Corruption is the only system that works in India.

Warren Buffet on Derivatives

 

Following are edited excerpts from the Berkshire Hathaway annual report for 2002.

I view derivatives as time bombs, both for the parties that deal in them and the economic system. Basically these instruments call for money to change hands at some future date, with the amount to be determined by one or more reference items, such as interest rates, stock prices, or currency values. For example, if you are either long or short an S&P 500 futures contract, you are a party to a very simple derivatives transaction, with your gain or loss derived from movements in the index. Derivatives contracts are of varying duration, running sometimes to 20 or more years, and their value is often tied to several variables. 

Unless derivatives contracts are collateralized or guaranteed, their ultimate value also depends on the creditworthiness of the counter-parties to them. But before a contract is settled, the counter-parties record profits and losses – often huge in amount – in their current earnings statements without so much as a penny changing hands. Reported earnings on derivatives are often wildly overstated. That’s because today’s earnings are in a significant way based on estimates whose inaccuracy may not be exposed for many years. 

The errors usually reflect the human tendency to take an optimistic view of one’s commitments. But the parties to derivatives also have enormous incentives to cheat in accounting for them. Those who trade derivatives are usually paid, in whole or part, on “earnings” calculated by mark-to-market accounting. But often there is no real market, and “mark-to-model” is utilized. This substitution can bring on large-scale mischief. As a general rule, contracts involving multiple reference items and distant settlement dates increase the opportunities for counter-parties to use fanciful assumptions. The two parties to the contract might well use differing models allowing both to show substantial profits for many years. In extreme cases, mark-to-model degenerates into what I would call mark-to-myth. 

I can assure you that the marking errors in the derivatives business have not been symmetrical. Almost invariably, they have favored either the trader who was eyeing a multi-million dollar bonus or the CEO who wanted to report impressive “earnings” (or both). The bonuses were paid, and the CEO profited from his options. Only much later did shareholders learn that the reported earnings were a sham. 

Another problem about derivatives is that they can exacerbate trouble that a corporation has run into for completely unrelated reasons. This pile-on effect occurs because many derivatives contracts require that a company suffering a credit downgrade immediately supply collateral to counter-parties. Imagine then that a company is downgraded because of general adversity and that its derivatives instantly kick in with their requirement, imposing an unexpected and enormous demand for cash collateral on the company. The need to meet this demand can then throw the company into a liquidity crisis that may, in some cases, trigger still more downgrades. It all becomes a spiral that can lead to a corporate meltdown. 

Derivatives also create a daisy-chain risk that is akin to the risk run by insurers or reinsurers that lay off much of their business with others. In both cases, huge receivables from many counter-parties tend to build up over time. A participant may see himself as prudent, believing his large credit exposures to be diversified and therefore not dangerous. However under certain circumstances, an exogenous event that causes the receivable from Company A to go bad will also affect those from Companies B through Z. 

In banking, the recognition of a “linkage” problem was one of the reasons for the formation of the Federal Reserve System. Before the Fed was established, the failure of weak banks would sometimes put sudden and unanticipated liquidity demands on previously-strong banks, causing them to fail in turn. The Fed now insulates the strong from the troubles of the weak. But there is no central bank assigned to the job of preventing the dominoes toppling in insurance or derivatives. In these industries, firms that are fundamentally solid can become troubled simply because of the travails of other firms further down the chain. 

Many people argue that derivatives reduce systemic problems, in that participants who can’t bear certain risks are able to transfer them to stronger hands. These people believe that derivatives act to stabilize the economy, facilitate trade, and eliminate bumps for individual participants. 

On a micro level, what they say is often true. I believe, however, that the macro picture is dangerous and getting more so. Large amounts of risk, particularly credit risk, have become concentrated in the hands of relatively few derivatives dealers, who in addition trade extensively with one other. The troubles of one could quickly infect the others. 

On top of that, these dealers are owed huge amounts by non-dealer counter-parties. Some of these counter-parties, are linked in ways that could cause them to run into a problem because of a single event, such as the implosion of the telecom industry. Linkage, when it suddenly surfaces, can trigger serious systemic problems. 

Indeed, in 1998, the leveraged and derivatives-heavy activities of a single hedge fund, Long-Term Capital Management, caused the Federal Reserve anxieties so severe that it hastily orchestrated a rescue effort. 

In later Congressional testimony, Fed officials acknowledged that, had they not intervened, the outstanding trades of LTCM – a firm unknown to the general public and employing only a few hundred people – could well have posed a serious threat to the stability of American markets. In other words, the Fed acted because its leaders were fearful of what might have happened to other financial institutions had the LTCM domino toppled. And this affair, though it paralyzed many parts of the fixed-income market for weeks, was far from a worst-case scenario. 

One of the derivatives instruments that LTCM used was total-return swaps, contracts that facilitate 100% leverage in various markets, including stocks. For example, Party A to a contract, usually a bank, puts up all of the money for the purchase of a stock while Party B, without putting up any capital, agrees that at a future date it will receive any gain or pay any loss that the bank realizes. 

Total-return swaps of this type make a joke of margin requirements. Beyond that, other types of

derivatives severely curtail the ability of regulators to curb leverage and generally get their arms around the risk profiles of banks, insurers and other financial institutions. Similarly, even experienced investors and analysts encounter major problems in analyzing the financial condition of firms that are heavily involved with derivatives contracts. 

The derivatives genie is now well out of the bottle, and these instruments will almost certainly multiply in variety and number until some event makes their toxicity clear. Central banks and governments have so far found no effective way to control, or even monitor, the risks posed by these contracts. In my view,derivatives are financial weapons of mass destruction, carrying dangers that, while now latent, are potentially lethal. 

The Barnyard Basics of Derivatives !

or Interesting ?

When people think of stocks, bonds or Treasury bills, they can usually come up with a clear picture in their minds, and probably some examples as well. When the word is "derivatives", most people are lucky if they can conjure up anything but an indistinct fog.

Derivatives are generally placed in the realm of advanced or technical investing, but there is no reason why they should remain a mystery to common investors. This article will use a simple story of a fictional farm to explore the mechanics of derivatives.

The Definition

Derivatives are financial products with value that stems from an underlying asset or set of assets. These can be stocks, debt issues, or almost anything. A derivative's value is based on an asset, but ownership of a derivative doesn't mean ownership of the asset.

We will look at some examples.

The Future of Healthy Hen Farms 

Gail, the owner of Healthy Hen Farms, is worried about the volatility of the chicken market with all the sporadic reports of bird flu coming out of the east. Gail wants a way to protect her business against another spell of bad news. Gail meets with an investor who enters into a futures contract with her.

The investor agrees to pay $30 per bird when the birds are ready for slaughter, say, in six months time, regardless of the market price. If, at that time, the price is above $30, the investor will get the benefit as he or she will be able to buy the birds for less than market cost and sell them onto the market at a higher price for a gain.

If the price goes below $30, then Gail will be receiving the benefit because she will be able to sell her birds for more than the current market price, or what she would have gotten for the birds in the open market.

By entering into a futures contract, Gail is protected from price changes in the market, as she has locked in a price of $30 per bird. She may lose out if the price flies up to $50 per bird on a mad cow scare, but she will be protected if the price falls to $10 on news of a bird flu outbreak.

By hedging with a futures contract, Gail is able to focus on her business and limit her worry about price fluctuations. (For related reading, see A Beginner's Guide To Hedging.)

Swapping

Gail has decided that it's time to take Healthy Hen Farms to the next level. She has already acquired all the smaller farms near her and is looking at opening her own processing plant. She tries to get more financing, but the lender, Lenny, rejects her.

The reason is that Gail financed her takeovers of the other farms through a massive variable-rate loan and the lender is worried that, if interest rates rise, Gail won't be able to pay her debts. He tells Gail that he will only lend to her if she can convert the loan to a fixed-rate. Unfortunately, her other lenders refuse to change her current loan terms because they are hoping interest rates will increase too.

Gail gets a lucky break when she meets Sam, the owner of a chain of restaurants. Sam has a fixed-rate loan about the same size as Gail's and he wants to convert it to a variable-rate loan because he hopes interest rates will decline in the future.

For similar reasons, Sam's lenders won't change the terms of the loan. Gail and Sam decide to swap loans. They work out a deal by which Gail's payments go toward Sam's loan and his go toward Gail's loan. Although the names on the loans haven't changed, their contract allows them both to get the type of loan they want. (To learn more, read An Introduction To Swaps.)

This is a bit risky for both of them because if one of them defaults or goes bankrupt, the other will be snapped back into his or her old loan, which may require a payment for which either Gail of Sam may be unprepared. But it allows for them to modify their loans to meet their individual needs.

Buying Debt

Lenny, Gail's financier, ponies up the additional capital at a favorable interest rate and Gail goes away happy. Lenny is pleased as well because his money is out there getting a return, but he is also a little worried that Sam or Gail may fail in their business.

To make matters worse, Lenny's friend Dale comes to him asking for money to start his own film company. Lenny knows Dale has a lot of collateral and that the loan would be at a higher interest rate because of the more volatile nature of the movie industry, so he's kicking himself for loaning all his capital to Gail.

Fortunately for Lenny, derivatives offer another solution. Lenny spins Gail's loan into a credit derivative and sells it to a speculator at a discount to the true value. Although Lenny doesn't see the full return on the loan, he gets his capital back and can issue it out again to his friend Dale.

Lenny likes this system so much that he continues to spin out his loans as credit derivatives, taking modest returns in exchange for less risk of default and more liquidity.

Options

Years later, Healthy Hen Farms is a publicly traded corporation (the ticker symbol is (obviously) HEN) and is America's largest poultry producer. Gail and Sam are both looking forward to retirement.

Over the years, Sam bought quite a few shares of HEN. In fact, he has more than $100,000 invested in the company. Sam is getting nervous because he is worried that some shock, another case of bird flu for example, might wipe out a huge chunk of his retirement money. Sam starts looking for someone to take the risk off his shoulders. Lenny, financier extraordinaire and an active writer of options, agrees to give him a hand.

Lenny outlines a deal in which Sam pays Lenny a fee to for the right (but not the obligation) to sell Lenny the HEN shares in a year's time at their current price of $25 per share. If the share prices plummet, Lenny protects Sam from the loss of his retirement savings.

Lenny is OK because he has been collecting the fees and can handle the risk. This is called a put option, but it can be done in reverse by someone agreeing to buy a stock in the future at a fixed price (called a call option). (For more insight, read the Options Basics tutorial.)

The Happy Ending

Healthy Hen Farms remains stable until Sam and Gail have both pulled their money out for retirement. Lenny profits from the fees and his booming trade as a financier.

In this ideal tale, you can see how derivatives can move risk (and the accompanying rewards) from the risk averse to the risk seekers. Although Warren Buffett once called derivatives, "financial weapons of mass destruction", derivatives can be very useful tools, provided they are used properly. Like all other financial instruments, derivatives have their own set of pros and cons, but they also hold unique potential to enhance the functionality of the the overall financial system.



by Andrew Beattie

http://www.investopedia.com/articles/basics/07/derivatives_basics.asp

Get Normal ! Here's How ! (P.S. You Can Leave out the EPL Stuff) *C.A.

Tips For Young People To Become Normal Again

(blundering language ahead, you have been warned)

Young people don’t know how good they have it. They live in an increasingly inter-connected, exciting world where Sreesanth is a role model, an iPad is considered useful and Pepsi decides to name an entire country after them. Nonetheless, most young people nowadays are illiterate, pretentious, horny and largely clueless. In short, like Tusshar Kapoor. Thus, here is a list of steps they can take to be considered normal or at least come close to Normalcy

Also, If You Just might be doing at least 2 of the below given things; Then Fuck you for doing it. You are a Douche!

Now, Lets Get Started !

Stop using “Ma”: I don’t know if you’re fans of Shashi Kapoor movies, but the next time you use “MA” in your sentence, I will shove your teeth so far up your own fucking ass that even a Japanese whaler’s harpoon won’t go deep enough to be able to fish it out. Yes, after the started having smaller Dicks, they started making Larger Harpoons. Seriously, is this some faux attempt at proving your love for your mother or did your priest make you miss grammar classes during kindergarten? The word is “my”. Repeat after me. Say 'My' : Pronounced : Maie!

“My name is Khan, and I’m a lameass actor”

NOT

“Ma name izz Khan, I’m a rockstarrrrr”

And while we’re on the subject, when did “Killer Shit” and “That’s gangster” become part of the lingo to express approval? What the fuck is killer shit anyway? Do you suffer from advanced colitis? Anal cancer? And gangster? You’re telling me this happened because of Shiney Ahuja’s film of the same name? What time between the release of his movie and raping his maid did he bless us all with this ridiculous verbal concoction? Even Inzamam Ul Haq would cringe at such Anand Jon-ification of the language.

Stop LOLing: If you take a walk down some parks early in the morning, you might come across groups of senior citizens holding their stomachs and making loud gratuitous noises. I want you to observe this act very closely. It’s called LAUGHING. NOT LOLing. LAUGHING. Why the fuck cant you laugh at a joke? Why do you have to say “LOL” in a conversation? It’s not a chat room where you’re trying to impress a spambot so that it turns the webcam on for you to jack off. I’m standing IN FRONT OF YOU! Don’t you dare bloody LOL me you son of a bitch! If you want to smile, smile! Don’t say tee hee. If you want to laugh, laugh! Because if you don’t I’m going to rip your tongue out, wipe it down Navjot Sidhu’s asscrack and smack you across the face with it like Xena warrior princess. And stop LOLing at your own jokes. If you have to end your own sentence with a LOL, your shit ain’t funny to begin with. LOL this you stupid SOB.

Stop reading Paulo Coelho: When the hell did Paulo Coelho become the must read author to prove your intellectual chops? Is it the graphic love scenes in Eleven Minutes that turn your nuts to momos? Do you think reading “The Alchemist” is a short cut to become a pharmacist? Don’t stick your stupid Facebook and twitter profiles with Paulo Coelho as your favourite author. It just tells me you don’t really read and just bought one at a train station because everyone seemed to have one and you felt more generous than buying a copy of “Who moved my cheese?”

Stop showing me your boxers: Seriously brother, pull those freaking pants up. I DON’T want to see your boxers. And I certainly don’t want to see your Grand Canyon cuz I’m sure as hell not Kobe Bryant looking for some practice free throws. I don’t care if you’re wearing Rupa or Jockey’s. I don’t care if it messes with the chain that you’re hanging across the left side of your parachute pants. I also don’t give a flying Jatayu’s patootie whether it messes with your frumpled hair, your goatee, your black t-shirt and finger sleeves. What the fuck are finger sleeves anyway? Were you trying to measure the perfect condom size or are you a professional kite flyer? Pull those goddamn jeans up and stop showing me your hairy lower back before I call the tow truck and get your ass impounded for indecent exposure.

Stop watching Shah Rukh Khan Movies: No. He is not the greatest actor of our generation and will never be. But then again, your probably believe he drives around Mumbai in a Hyundai i10 as well. Stop crying about him feeling bad that Kolkata lost. Stop telling me My Name is Khan was the greatest bloody movie you ever saw. It only goes to show you have the same IQ as girls who scream in the movie hall every time Bobby Deol makes an appearance.

Stop believing what Arundhati Roy says: Seriously, that bitch will get you shot. If following socialist hotties is your thing, go with Brinda Karat. The worst that might happen then is you will have no friends left. Who is Brinda Karat anyways ?

Stop giving a fuck about the EPL: I’ve said this before and ill say it again. NO ONE gives a fuck about whether you support Man U or Barca. They’re not YOUR team and their success doesn’t mean that YOU won. No matter how many jersey’s you buy from a trip to Thailand or Colaba Causeway or Funkies, no matter how many soccer shoes you buy and wear at inappropriate places, NO ONE gives a fuck. Find some other goddamn purpose in life than tweet about players whose names you can’t pronounce and who you’ve only been exposed to in FIFA 2009. And don’t you dare rattle off Fabregas’s statistics if you can’t supplement those with Sunil Chhetri’s either.
P.S. Fabregas does Rule ! (I am an Arsenal Fan)

Stop pretending to be into hip-hop music: Just because your car has a bass tube and you listen to 50 Cent and Afro Man does not mean you love “Rap music”. Go and learn atleast 7 rhymes of Biggie Smalls or Tupac before I bust a cap in yo ass. Stick to rock, its easier to pull off being a fan of Nirvana.

Stop wearing Che Guevera T-Shirts: If the only thing you know is “he was the dude from Motorcycle Diaries”.

Stop wearing tight t-shirts after a week of gymming: Just because you go to the gym and your bicep increased by half an inch doesn’t mean you start wearing body-hugging nipple busting t-shirts and walking like a scarecrow. And take those fucking sunglasses off. Its 8 in the bloody evening and no one will judge you for walking around with a hooker as arm candy anyway!

Stop putting obscure quotes and pictures as your status messages: Seriously, you’re trying to tell me your low attention span excuse for a hamster’s brain was up reading Dante and Nietzsche? Stop faking and pretending to be an intellectual. We all know you just Google quotes on love, success, friendship to try and make sense of your life and give yourself some comfort when the milkshake hits the desert cooler. And for fucks sake, stop quoting people like the CEO of General Motors and other crazy right-wingers. I know language isn’t your thing, but you might want to check the dictionary for “context”. Also, don’t forget to check “Dumbfuck”. You might find your picture next to Shivraj Patil’s.

PEACE !